By Holly Field

If you missed part 1, you can read it here

N

Needle Play: Using sterile needles to temporarily pierce the skin.

O

Objectification: When the dominant partner dehumanises the submissive.

Orgasm Denial: The submissive person can only reach orgasm with permission from the dominant partner.

Owned: A relationship whereby the submissive partner consents to being “owned” by the dominant partner, usually the Master – an extreme version of D/s.

P

Pearl Necklace: How semen looks when a man has ejaculated onto someone’s neck.  Also Torture Garden’s iconic event.

Pegging: When a strap-on dildo is used for anal sex.  (Usually female-to-male.)

Play: The BDSM activities that make up a scene.  Also a type of fetish activity.

Ponyboy or Ponygirl: The submissive is instructed to behave like a pony whilst wearing a pony outfit – including a mouth bit and an anal plug with a tail.

Power Exchange: When people consent to a dynamic whereby one person (or people) deliberately takes control.

Protocol: The rule(s) people agree to follow during BDSM activities.

Pup Play/Puppy Play: A sub is ordered to behave like a puppy; barking, yelping, whimpering, eating from a bowl etc.

Pussy Torture: Torturing the vulva or vagina for sexual pleasure.

Q

Queening (aka “Facesitting”): A sexual act in which one person sits on the face of another for oral sex or rimming.

R

Restriction: Hindering a partner’s movements by tying or binding parts of their body.

Rimming: Licking someone’s anus.

Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK): Understanding there are risks in BDSM activities and the play should only be pursued when these risks are acknowledged and understood.

Rope Bondage: Using rope to restrict someone’s mobility.

Rope Bunny: Someone who enjoys being tied up with rope.

Role Play: Adopting alternative identities for sexual activity.

S

Sadism: The act of inflicting pain for sexual gratification.

Sadism and Masochism (S&M or S/M): Signifies one person (the sadist) inflicting pain on another (a masochist) and both gaining sexual pleasure as a result.

Sadist: Someone who derives pleasure from inflicting pain on, or humiliating, someone.

Safe, Sane and Consensual (SSC): All BDSM activities should be safe, consensual and embarked on when not under the influence of drugs or excessive alcohol.

Safeword: A word or phrase agreed between partners that the submissive can say during an activity or scene to stop the play.

Scat Play: Play that involves faeces.

Scene: The time in which BDSM activities take place.  Also, more generally, the BDSM community (“The BDSM Scene”).

Sensation Play: An act whereby sensory limits are tested, such as through sensory deprivation, exploring temperatures or new textures.

Shibari (aka “Kinbaku”): The art of Japanese rope bondage – using simple, yet visually appealing and complex, patterns to tie someone.

Slave: One partner gives total control of one, or more, parts of their life to their Master.

Soft Limits: A flexible boundary; someone might be willing to explore their soft limits but is hesitant to do so.

Sounding: A smooth rod is inserted into the urethra.  The rod is usually made of metal and can vary in diameter.

St Andrew’s Cross: Bondage furniture with points to attach restraints – shaped like an X cross.

Sub (from “Submissive”): A person who relinquishes control to another, either in the short term or constantly.

Subdrop: An experience that can happen to submissives after intense BDSM play.  Symptoms can be cold- or flu-like in nature, melancholia, anger, clinginess etc. and can last for about a week.  Subdrop can be avoided if adequate aftercare is provided immediately after the play session.

Submissive: A person who relinquishes control to another, either in the short term or constantly.

Subspace: A natural high a submissive can experience during a BDSM scene or when being dominated.

Suspension: A form of bondage that usually employs rope.  The submissive’s weight is taken in the bondage construction, either fully or partially.

Switch: A “switch” is someone who enjoys being dominant as well as submissive in BDSM scenes.  The role they play can change with partners or during a session itself.

T

Top: The person who plays a dominant role in a BDSM scene; usually controls the scene.

Topping from the Bottom (TFTB): When the bottom tries to take control of the scene, despite it being agreed the top would take the reins.

Total Power Exchange (TPE): A relationship whereby the dominant partner controls every aspect of the submissive partner’s life and makes most of the decisions.

U

Unicorn: Considered an elusive figure; a bisexual female who wishes to join a heterosexual couple for a MFF threesome.

V

Vanilla Sex: A common phrase in the BDSM community to refer to sexual behaviour that is kink-free.

W

Water Sports: Play that involves urination.

Wax Play: Using specially-designed candles, the top (partner) drips hot wax onto the body of the bottom (partner).

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Holly Field is a professional writer and editor specialising in Education, Sex and Wellness. Despite having a good education and a liberal upbringing, she found her sex education was lacking; and throughout her twenties, she noticed how conversations surrounding sex so often accompany shame. So she did something about it. For almost ten years, she’s been writing about sex, dating and relationships on her blog and writes unashamedly about her own experiences of pleasure, BDSM and kink. Holly’s on a mission to reduce the stigma around sex and desire, one article at a time…