Dungeon Etiquette

How to

by Divine Theratrix

If you know TG then you know we have a dedicated BDSM playspace AKA dungeon and perhaps you’ve already experienced its delights, or you are excited to see what fun you could have there. Here at TG, a lot goes on behind the scenes to ensure that procedures are in place that keep our guests as safe as reasonably possible. In this article, Divine Theratrix offers her perspective as one of our Dungeon Monitors, to give you some tips for having safety-aware fun in the dungeon.

Divine Theratrix’ top tips

Hey there, kinky seeker! I hear you are looking to have some dungeon fun? I’m going to give you my top-tips for conscious kink in the TG dungeon. There are some things you can do to help yourselves, other players, and the monitors holding space for you. It takes all of us to make it a welcoming, intimate space that can be enjoyed by newbies and experienced players alike.

1.   Keep it clean

Be as filthy as you like, just clean up afterwards! There is a cleaning station in the dungeon, and if you don’t use it after your scene, a monitor will come along to gently remind you to use the products provided and wipe down the BDSM furniture. We keep a hygienic space so that when you come to have your fun, you can do so on equipment that is free of other peoples’ sweat and ahem, other fluids. On that note, please also be sure to pick up any condoms you have used and place those in the bin.  (Sidenote – we don’t allow watersports, hard sports or sharps in the dungeon)

2.   Wait your turn

When the dungeon gets busy, you will need to join a queue of folks waiting to enter and use the space. The monitors will ask you what piece or pieces of furniture you are interested in using, and if you are first in line amongst those waiting their turn, you will get first dibs on the equipment you want when it is free. Because there is limited space available, the number of people allowed in the dungeon is limited and when it is at capacity, the monitors will operate a ‘one in one out’ rule so that you will have to wait for a group to finish their scene and leave before you can enter and start yours.

3.   Be aware of surroundings

We limit the number of folks allowed in the dungeon so that there is enough space for everyone to move around safely, and for monitors to be able to see what is going on. Nevertheless, we need everyone to be aware of their surroundings because stray limbs, floggers, or observers can present a hazard in the space. About to take your arm wide for a big swing of that toy? Make sure that no one is walking behind or beside you at that moment! Maybe the piece of furniture next to the one you are using was free when you began your scene but now it is occupied – it’s necessary to be constantly scanning your surroundings to ensure that your movements are not going to put yourself or anyone else at risk.

4.   Know your partner/s

We get all sorts of dynamics in the dungeon. Long-term partners, experienced players, casual play friends, total newbies, complete strangers…. all are welcome, we only ask that you know enough about each other to be able to take care of each other. Never spanked your play partner before? Ask about their limits, safe words, and signals, as well as what aftercare they want. When I have given guidance to newbie spankers in the dungeon, I tell them how to use a pain-rating scale, and what areas of the body are safe for spanking. While the dungeon monitors are not there to teach guests, we will give you guidance that helps keep you safe. So, if you’re new, there’s no shame in asking one of us to give you a steer. If you are about to play with someone you have just met, consider what level of trust you give them, and if you want a friend to be present with you. With even the best of intentions, if someone does not know you well, they might not read your signals accurately so it can be good to have a friend with you as moral support or an observer.

5.   Check your competency

If you like to have fun in the dungeon, and you like to drink alcohol, we invite you to come along and have your dungeon fun early in the night, so that you can make the most of being sober. Or at least monitor your own intoxication levels, and drink water. If the monitors judge that someone is too intoxicated to use the dungeon safely, we will ask them to leave. Other general points that feed into whether you are competent to play are your communication skills, knowledge of human anatomy, and experience with equipment. What the monitors want to see are: people who communicate their needs and intentions to each other before, during and after a scene; people who show respect for each other’s bodies; and people who demonstrate an understanding of the tools that they are using for play.

6.   Come prepared

You get to play with the dungeon equipment and the greatest tool you will ever use – your own body. Didn’t bring any impact toys but want to spank? Use your hands! If you know that you will want to use tools other than your body, please bring those tools with you. While dungeon furniture is provided for you to play on, BDSM toys are not provided. Monitors do sometimes have some of their own sacred implements with them, but these are not for public use, so please don’t ask us to borrow them. Bring your toys, bring your lube, bring your condoms. Another top tip: bring a snack! Something sugary like a lollipop is nice to offer as aftercare to yourself or your partner/s. Who doesn’t like a lollipop? The dungeon monitors certainly do!

Divine Theratrix is a conscious kink and sex educator who has been attending Torture Garden for many years. She believes that the human body is art, and loves to teach people how to make art, with their art. You can find out more info here: https://divinetheratrix.com/

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