How to
by Divine Theratrix
You will be aware that TG enforces a Code of Conduct that centres consent. The Club Rules are notified to ticket holders in advance of an event, posted around the club itself on the night, and regular reminders are shared on social media channels. Rules are one thing, but etiquette can be a little more nuanced. In this article, Divine Theratrix helps you to understand how you need to behave to observe the etiquette at TG events.
‘Etiquette’ is defined as ‘the expected and accepted ways of behaving’. Etiquette changes depending on what situation you are in.
The etiquette at fetish clubs like TG is different to the etiquette in regular clubs and every day. Because of the nature of much of BDSM and kink play, it is very important to have clear communication around boundaries and consent, and this ethos is extended to regular interactions by club goers, as well as play.
If you want to have a good time and not annoy other guests, you should understand the etiquette before you attend.
What I will say about etiquette in this article is not intended to replace the Torture Garden Rules, but is supplemental to them. You should still read and understand the rules, which you can do here, but you can educate yourself further by absorbing the content of this article on etiquette.
For you to have the best night possible, it’s important to ensure you fully understand all aspects of the etiquette before attending!
Awareness of others is key to observing etiquette.
You need to be aware of other peoples’ rights, such as their rights to:
This is why I have framed the rest of this article as a series of aspects that you need to maintain a dynamic awareness of to observe etiquette.
If you do your best to be aware of the following things, you will help to co-create a harmonious party space, which will mean a more enjoyable time for yourself and the people you engage with! Yay!
You can read more about dungeon etiquette here
If the concept of perceived threat level is new to you, the following example might be useful to help you understand.
Let’s take the example of gender as being relevant to perceived threat level. Men might be perceived by women as posing a threat of harassment, so even if a man has benevolent intentions when approaching a woman, it is good to remember that a woman who has been harassed by men before is likely to view men in general with some degree of caution. Similarly, white people might be viewed with caution by people of colour who have experienced racism and micro aggressions from white people previously.
Still not sure? Words not your thing? View this great video on etiquette here
If anyone’s behaviour bothers you at a TG event, please do flag this up to our monitors who will be happy to help and work with you to ensure it doesn’t have to ruin your experience! It’s important to be aware of your surroundings and look after each other too, so if you see someone who looks like they might be in distress please flag this to our monitors who can check in.
TG Staff are trained to deal with a number of situations, and all reports of unsafe behaviour will be listened to and believed.
Thank you for observing the etiquette!
Divine Theratrix is a conscious kink and sex educator who has been attending Torture Garden for many years, and can often be found monitoring in the dungeon. She believes that the human body is art, and loves to teach people how to make art, with their art. You can find out more info here: https://divinetheratrix.com/
Scala
Electrowerkz