by Alice Bizarre

Well, what a two years its’ been! In accordance to Government regulations, Torture Garden closed its doors to the public and with everyone being stuck at home during a Global pandemic, just how has this effected our sex lives?  One could assume couples were at it like rabbits and those without were furiously masturbating with all the extra time, but it may not be as true as first thought!

One thing we all had in common was the time to explore new things. Partners were going through honeymoon periods at the prospect of the (now laughable) “few weeks” at home whilst others were learning their bodies all over again.  Even us parents had time in the evenings where we weren’t prepping for school and work the next day to browse the adult websites for a new trinket or even exploring that fetish a friends told us about but we never got a chance to find out what it really meant.

The beginning of the pandemic was incredibly sex positive; Love Honey Launched their £250,000 ad campaign to “Raise a Smile”, Ann summers had an increase of 900% in adult toy sales during the first 2020 lockdown and Pornhub even offered free premium membership to countries on Coronavirus lockdown.
Yet with the act of having sex with someone outside your home bubble essentially being criminalised (which in itself would be a turn on for some, you naughty creatures), the casual hook-up became almost non-existent. This led to dating apps primarily being used to for sexting, phone sex and even  to take the time to really find connections with people. Whilst not being able to have sex for months on end was torturous for some, others took advantage of the time alone, taking a step back from hook ups and fast relationships to spend time working on their own emotional needs and sexual desires.

Escaping reality was of greater importance than ever and what more fun way to do so then exploring kink!  From fetish to high tech gadgets, Google UK Trends found the phrase “what is BDSM?” had a search increase of 70% whereas “what is pegging in sex?” had a whopping 250% search increase!

The lack of hook ups also leads to STI’s dropping. By October 2020 (according to public health England) Gonorrhoea was down 28%, Chlamydia was down 26% and syphilis was down 10%.

A sexual lockdown has not been so hot for everyone; Sex Workers such as strippers, escorts and dominatrixs’ (i.e., The none media-based workers) took a massive hit yet webcamming and content providers flourished with an 75% increase of creators at Onlyfans in May 2020 alone!

For kinksters it has been a mixed bag. Those with families no longer have the amount of privacy they need for ‘noisy’ activities. People in the swinging community had their planned meet ups and events put on hold. For others it has allowed the time to research and practice new skills such as shibari rope and even building BDSM furniture! Many are exploring the kink communities online, sharing information, stories and even education with those dipping their toes into the scene for the first time. Growth of apps like Tiktok has given a platform to a brand-new audience with the hashtag #kinktok needing to be censored due to the frequency of its use over the last two years.

But it wasn’t all about sex! Lockdown allowed people to reconnect and explore intimacy within their relationships in new ways and the time for self-reflection meant many people have been able to look at their own relationship with gender and identity and what it means for them all to co-exist together.

As time went on, lockdown became drawn out, left us and came back over and over like that one toxic ex you can’t seem to shake off. The sexual excitement and energy declined in a big way. This was due to many reasons; irritably, stress, lack of privacy living with others, loneliness without those interactions we need and crave, anxiety, depression etc. Our mental health has a profound effect on our sexuality and libido and going through something as huge as a Pandemic (let alone all the added situations it caused in our lives) has negativity effected our mental wellbeing thus, the pandemic itself became toxic for our sexuality.
Now that we ease back into what some would daren’t call “normality”, we find a sexual liberation happening. Routine is finally changing in the home, with families and partners are getting the space they need. Every sexy new thing people learnt about during Lockdown is now coming into practice. Swinger clubs, your friendly neighbourhood Torture Garden and other adult parties are reopening with fresh enthusiastic new faces attending. Even the attitude toward talking about sex has changed and is slowly becoming a subject we can openly and safely talk about.

If the pandemic has taught us anything is that life is short and the future is uncertain.  Give yourselves a break! Your feelings are valid. As long as we learn to be mindful of our mental health and wellbeing, we will continue being the most deviant, explorative and downright depraved beings for many, many years to come.

Alice Bizarre is a pro SFX makeup artist, specialising in horror looks. She also performs horror burlesque, and has been a well know face on the scene for a few years! You can follow her on Instagram and Facebook