How are you doing today, kinksters? 

So the other day I had a riveting conversation with a friend, she asked me a question that really got me thinking, “Does visiting a dominatrix count as cheating?” 🤔💭👠 vs 👰 

As you might imagine that led to some really interesting conversations. So, guys, that is what inspired me to write this blog. 

Without any delay. Let’s get started, shall we? 

Should I tell my wife I want to see a dominatrix?  

So here is Podopheleus story. I first visited a Dominatrix around 8 years ago. It was something that had been on my mind for a long time. I wrestled with the idea of whether I should book a session or not. I was in two minds about the whole thing, after many years of great frustration, I finally mustered up the courage to book a session with a Pro Domme. However, it was not what I had expected, to be honest, and that’s because of two reasons. 

1. Bad communication

I’m happy to hold my hands up and say that I should have communicated better. I was not very specific in what I wanted. At the end of the session, I left feeling dissatisfied and disappointed.

2. I never told my girlfriend

   😱

That’s right, guys, it must have slipped my mind 👎 Erm…⁉ ️Okay okay okay so I kind of pussied out, if I am being totally honest. I was worried because I didn’t know how she would react. At the same moment, It was something I really needed to do. If it’s of any consolation, afterwards I felt awkward, guilty and pretty shitty. 

So you remember when I said that I never told my girlfriend? Later, I confessed everything, and guess what? She was cool with it, and we got married a few years later. A little while after that, I visited another Domme. It was just a one-off session though. About 2 years ago, I decided I wanted to session on a regular basis. I spent hours every evening online, searching for a Domme and that’s where I found Mistress Adreena. I’ve been visiting Mistress Adreena for just over 2 years. My wife knows about my sessions and about Mistress Adreena. Furthermore, my wife knows everything that I do. I wanted to be honest with her, so there are no secrets. To answer your question, Should I tell my wife I want to see a dominatrix? The answer is yes, abso-fucking-lutely, I will go deeper into this topic but for now, let’s move on to the next question. 

How to tell your partner you want to see a dominatrix

First things first, it is important to know why you want to visit a Dominatrix. For instance, how would it help you? Make a list of questions to find out your “why” you want to visit a Dominatrix. Once you have answered all of the questions either in your mind or in your journal, it is important to get very clear on what you want. So why does this matter? Once you understand what it is you want, you’ll be able to sit down with your partner and speak confidently about it and explain how you feel. Bear in mind that your partner might have little-to-no knowledge of domination, submission, erotic humiliation, fetishes and kinks. Explaining this to your partner with confidence can ease any frustration. Additionally, you will be helping her to understand what is involved. 

Your partner might have a lot of questions about things, take one example “is this normal?” Remember to be patient and understanding and to answer her questions honestly. When I first told my girlfriend that I wanted to visit a Dominatrix, she asked the same questions over again, she was trying to make sense of it all. To be fair to her, it can be a lot to take in at first, but because I was responding with sensitivity, love, patience, and honesty, this helped her understand everything better. 

So have an honest talk with your girlfriend/wife/partner to discuss this. I can’t guarantee you the outcome, guys, but it will be better than living a double life. I can assure you of that. If she agrees to let you session with a Domme, then congratulations! I would strongly recommend reading my blog – HOW TO FIND A DOMME? 11 TOP TIPS TO FINDING A DOMINATRIX. This should help you get started 😜👇

https://www.podopheleus.com/how-to-find-a-domme/

On the other hand…

…If she says NO, please respect her decision. At that point you have two further options.

1. Take your girlfriend/wife/partner to a Dominatrix

This is not unheard of. Did you know that couples do visit a Dominatrix TOGETHER, yes, that’s right, guys. Awesome, right? It will be awkward at first, but once you get into the swing of things, your girlfriend/wife/partner may fall head-over-heels in love with this new style of play. 

2. Look for ways to play together

Keep things simple. Discuss your sexual needs and desires, limits and boundaries. Take the time to find out how you can incorporate your kinks and fetishes into your sex life. 

My wife knows I see a dominatrix – here’s why. 

As has been mentioned, my wife knows everything that I do. Every time I book a session, whether it’s with Mistress Adreena or another Domme, or even, a double Domme. My wife will know about it, because I trust her and I tell her absolutely everything. Some people might ask, “why would you tell your wife about your Dommes and your sessions?” Let me break it down for you, guys.

1. No sneaking around / lying to my wife

Let me start off by saying this: guys, you do not need to lie, additionally, lying complicates things. Let me ask you a question, How would you feel if it was the other way around? Let’s just say that, you just found out by ‘ACCIDENT’ that your wife of five years has been visiting a master for at least two years. Would you accept it? Or would that be construed as deceit, betrayal or even, cheating? What are you most concerned about? That your wife has been visiting a master or moreover, you do not like being lied to. Just remember this, guys, If you have nothing to hide, then you can’t get caught. 

2. It builds trust 

So I tell my wife everything about my sessions. For instance, I’ll say something along the lines of, “I have a session booked on such-and-such date and such-and-such time with Mistress Adreena.” Every once in a while, she will ask questions about my session. As an example, “What type of session did you have?” I would always answer honestly, openly and politely. Keep this in mind, don’t be scared to death of honesty because it creates trust.

3. No emotional involvement

Lastly, my wife knows that I don’t have any emotional involvement with my Domme. Alternatively, we have a good professional relationship. 

For further reading on this topic, check out this guest blog I wrote for Weird World Wire – Don’t paint all Dommes with the same brush 👇

https://www.podopheleus.com/not-all-dominatrix-are-the-same/

In summation

Now, let me ask you the question again: Does visiting a dominatrix count as cheating?

There we have it, kinksters. I really hope you enjoyed this blog. What are your thoughts? Does visiting a dominatrix count as cheating? 🤔💭👠 If you found this blog valuable to you, you are welcome to share it with any kinksters who might find it useful. 

Feel free to hit me upon Twitter and Instagram, or via the site. 

Much Kink Love

Podopheleus

www.podopheleus.com